A Scary Movie

No, I mean Really Scary.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Once again, I'm glad I'm in here, and not out there with you guys."\\

Don't Nuke Iran

Dear Rulers:

No more wars until you've finished the ones you already started!

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't be greedy."\\

Go Talk Pretty

At Pandagon, they've been making merciless and well-deserved fun of a blithering twit who is rather down on people who use contraception. They're especially amused by her habit of referring to such persons as "contracepting".

One commentor, Karpad, says "It’s like HR people who created the word 'incent,' as in, 'We need to incent our employees to keep working hard.' Or worse, 'incentivize.' "

First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing, because verbing weirds language.
Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.

Well, one can hardly expect a person who's so poor on rationality to be well up on grammar.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Hmph."\\

The Reverse the Raid on Student Aid Act of 2006

Catchy name, huh?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Huh."\\

Mother's Day

...was not invented by greeting card companies:

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

-- Julia Ward Howe, 1870

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "My mother the bowling ball would approve."\\

Dear Bill

Express your thoughts to the late Rev. William Sloane Coffin.

You could do worse things with your time.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Good idea."\\

A-Ha!

from the Green Knight (http://thegreenknight.blogspot.com/):

" 6-6-6 "

"F - O - X " Upon checking the letters of FOX "News" the first letter--F is the 6th letter of the alphabet, the second letter--O is the 15th, 1+5=6, and X is the 24th, 2+4=6. OH MY GOD ! FOX=666. Coincidence ?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There are no coincidences [cue ominous music]."\\

Cutting Out The Middleman

WASHINGTON — President Bush nominated infinitely rapacious cosmic entity Galactus on Thursday to be his new interior secretary.

If confirmed by the Senate, Galactus, 11 Billion, will replace Gale Norton, who resigned last week.

Bush said Galactus, Third Force of the Universe and Devourer of Worlds, wields the Power Cosmic and has broad experience needed for eating the 388 parks of the National Park system, 544 wildlife refuges and more than 260 million acres of multiple-use lands located mainly in 12 Western states, in addition to the rest of the planet.

"Galan understands that those who live closest to the land know how to manage it best, and he will begin preparations to digest our planet immediately," Bush said.

Galactus promised to construct giant machines in the heart of Manhattan in order to "suck the very essence from the land and consume the natural resources with which your planet has been blessed."


from mountainofjudgment.blogspot.com , by way of Kathe.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What's Middleman's secret identity?"\\

By the Sweat of Your Eyeballs

Noah T. Winer of MoveOn invites you to watch Sunday morning talk TV, and then kvetch about the blatant conservative bias thereon.

Well, if you really want to....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Somebody has to do it."\\

The George W. Bush Childhood Home

Take a look.

Do you believe that the scion of New England aristocrats ever lived in this house?

Or is this log cabin as phoney as Andover George's Texan accent?

//The Magic-8-Ball says, "Maybe it's the gatehouse."\\

Suited to the Occasion

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Truer words...."\\

Color Coding

I knew vaguely that NBC had at one time had two parallel networks, the Red Network and the Blue, and that one of them had been sold off and become a separate network. I'd always had a vague intention to look up which network was which -- was the modern NBC the Blue Network? Was CBS the Red?

I had the feeling that ABC was the original competitor to NBC -- the American network versus the National, like with baseball leagues, right? -- and with those names taken, the spinoff network had to settle for the lesser alternative of "Columbia", right? But somehow I never thought to look them up when I was on the Internet, or at the library.

Today I finally did think of looking it up, and found that I was, as is so often the case, about half right:

NBC was the first commercial broadcast network. Almost from the first, they had separate Red and Blue feeds (also regional networks called White, Orange and Gold). Also almost from the first, their upstart rival CBS (founded by the Columbia record label) complained that the color-coded networks were the beginnings of a broadcast monopoly. In 1937, the Blue Network was sold off, briefly known simply as "the Blue Network" and eventually renamed ABC, while NBC retained the Red Network.

Some people at NBC remembered over the years: when they adopted their "Big N" logo in 1976, it was made up of two identical shapes, one red and one blue. In 1992, the network ran three separate feeds of Olympic coverage: Red, White and Blue.

Well, I suppose very few people under seventy know or care about all this, but I'm pleased to finally know the whole story. I still harbor a fond hope that one day NBC will offer Red andBlue" cable feeds, even though these days people would doubtless be expecting some "Red and Blue political agenda.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Knowing where you come from helps you to know where you're going."\\

The Amazing Power of Bill O'Reilly

He makes me think seriously about watching Keith Olbermann's show.

Know what would make me feel powerful? Believing that my votew in the 2006 election will be counted.

I doubt whether buying a pixel's worth of the Internet would make me feel powerful, but it doesn't cost much.

Still, disempowered as I am, at least I don't have to eat off this menu.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Easy, there."\\

Dances with Golden Retrievers

Spring Break progresses. I have downloaded my first reading assignments for Spring Term, but have not yet started on them. Gee whiz, it's only Wednesday.

Kathe sent me a link to a story which is funny, but also a chilling object lesson. The lesson being, buy a paper shredder (or gerbils).

And speaking of animal-based tehcnology, Jake sent me a link to an article about cybernetic war-butterflies.

Kathe also sent me a link to the Worst. Website. Ever. It reminded both of us of the posters people made, back when the Mac was new, unable to restrain themselves from printing in a dozen different fonts.

Much better websites, also visited by me due to a link sent me by Kathe, include Waste and Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Cavalry
.

Finally, Kathe sent me a link to a video which confirms the stereotype that Golden Retrievers are immensely fond of running around and playing -- and demolishes the stereotype that they're stupid.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Honor competence, even among the humble."\\

Why'd He Say That?

The International Planned Parenthood Foundation wants the U.N. to choose its first female Secretary-General. Sounds like a good idea to me.

MoveOn thinks it would be nice if the corporate news media actually tried some of that "fair and balanced" stuff. I'll buy that.

Al-Qaida member Zacarias Moussaoui, on trial for his alleged involvement in the 9-11 attacks, now claims that he was supposed to hijack a fifth plane and crash it into the White House, along with Richard Reid, the Get Smart shoe bomber.

I don't believe it. It doesn't ring true to me. On the other hand, what benefit would he gain from telling such a lie? Sow confusion among the enemy?

But what benefit does he gain by telling such a truth, either?

The only thing I can think of is that he wants to make sure he is executed. No doubt he'd rather be a martyr than a plain old convict.

I hope they don't execute him. I hope he gets to grow old in prison, gradually forgotten by the world like the surviving members of that other conservative faith-based organization, the Order.

I like the thought of a frail old man hobbling down the corridors of a prison, and a young guard asking why he's there.

"He's a terrorist," says an old guard. "He killed people for his cause."

"What cause was that?" the young guard asks, and on being told "White supremacy" or "The Wahabi interpretation of Islam" or "stopping women from controlling their own reproductive functions", the young guard may be excused from looking blank, or bursting out laughing.

"He threw his life away for that?"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Future prospects are good."\\

Homeland Security

It not only doesn't work,

It doesn't even work.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Ask again later."\\

Yes, Let's Do Hear the Revolution, But....

I'm enjoying Spring Break. I don't even mind working night shifts during the break, since it gives me an opportunity to watch gorgeous spring sunrises. I'm spending nights at a house way out on the Valley floor, with no buildings to block my view to the east. Most mornings, the sky is overcast, but even then the light is beautiful.

Now if only Mercury were a morning star this month. I always like to get a glimpse of it, and so rarely get the chance.

I am favorably impressed by what I saw at heartherevolution.com. I believe that their hearts are in the right place.

What a shame, then, that they chose to engage in a slimy practice like posting advertising spam in the Comments section of this blog. What a shame. And shame on them.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Begin as you mean to go on."\\

Pointless But Funny

Some people are as offended by dog-breed stereotypes as they are by ethnic stereotypes. For the rest, there's:

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: "Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code."

Afghan: "Light bulb? What light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: "The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?"

Rottweiler: "Just one. You want to make something of it?"

Lab: "Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Can I? Huh? Can I?"

Jack Russell Terrier: "I'll just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls and furniture."

Cocker Spaniel: "Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark."

Pointer: "I see it, there it is, there it is, right there . . . ."

Greyhound: "It isn't moving so who cares?"

Australian Shepard: "First I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle . . ."

Boxer: "If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough to quit falling off the chair..."

Golden Retriever #2: "I'll be glad to change the light bulb for you, but first can't we play catch with the tennis ball, or frisbee - and then I want to lick your face and rest my head in your lap and look up at you with my sad eyes. What, you're changing the light bulb yourself - you didn't have to do that - but I looooove you so much for being my friend and doing that."

Dalmatian: "Just one, but I will really hate the new bulb."

Wolf-dog hybrid: "Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What's it made of, what's inside of it, what will happen if I drop it. I might change it, but let me think about it. You're not trying to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just had a great idea. I think I'll change that light bulb!"

Pit bull: "Just one, but then I'll hang on to it, dangling from it until the ceiling falls in."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Shame on you."

Keeping America Safe From Old Ladies in Funny Hats

Demonstrating the Administration's usual keen grasp of priorities....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't read the news anymore. Go listen to old radio shows at http://otr.net instead."\\

I'm Back

After being mysteriously white-screened for days on end, this blog is back online.

To celebrate, I'll post here some nifty things Kathe has sent me:

Distressing evidence of evolution in action: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184973,00.html


An amusing meme generator: http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?meme=1074766802

A highly educational filmstrip: http://www.filmstripinternational.com/

Really good news (for a change) out of South Dakota: http://www.indianz.com/News/2006/013061.asp

An awe-inspiring database of sidewalk art: http://rense.com/general67/street.htm

The Calvin and Hobbes Searchable Database: http://www.transmogrifier.org/ch/comics/search.cgi

A discussion of dangling modifiers. You know, like Jesus: http://www.yarnivore.com/francis/archives/001463.html

The Telemarketing Counterscript: http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html


A marvelous idea: that arguing should not be considered "fighting" but rather "carpentry": http://ozarque.livejournal.com/214503.html?style=mine


A mathematical joke: 2+2=5*

*for extrememly lage values of 2

Scruffy, the world's cutest sea urchin:

http://user.mc.net/~mena/scruffy/scruffy.htm


Teaching your fish to play soccer: http://www.fish-school.com/

And finishing off the fishy theme, the ultimate sea creature, the Intelligent Octopode Designer: http://xiphias.livejournal.com/292111.html

And also something I found on my own:

Joan's Army. Joan of Arc, that is. A blog devoted to tough chicks who aren't going to take it from the patriarchy any more: http://joansarmy.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I'm back. I'm sure that will be a relief to both of you.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't fish for compliments."\\

I'm (Still) In

It was very close, but apparently my grades for Winter Term are juuuust good enough for me to return for Spring Term, and continue on my way to becoming a nurse.

But really, I must not let it get so close henceforth.

Now that I'm on Spring Break, I can catch up with some of the news, like this Ben Domenech guy.

Well, good Heavens, what a guy!

What else have I been missing?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Are you sure you want to know?"\\

Jake sent me this

Kathe's son Jake sent me this:

A recent SPAM enticing me to become involved in the import of "artificial
arts and crafts." They have a comprehensive database...

------------------------
Dear Intended partner,

On behalf of China HuaMao Arts & Crafts Organisation, it's our pleasure to
introduce to you our new sales/marketing initiative as we are world
leading producer and export of artificial arts and crafts. The company
maintains a comprehensive database of inter-national trade in artificial
arts and crafts, we export into Canada/America and some parts of Europe...

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Stick to natural crafts."\\

Architectural Tromp L'Oeil

L'oeil needs to take a nap now....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Ever see a bloshot 8-Ball before?"\\

Reptilians in Government

Has the U.S. government been taken over by inhuman blood-drinking reptilian creatures?

No, I mean, literally?

No, of course it hasn't, but it sure is fun to read about it at educate-yourself.org.

There's something very entertaining in the combination of paranoid looniness and inadvertant political satire found here.

It's no V for Vendetta, but it's worth a look.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Are you entirely sure?"\\

How Not To Do It

Handle liquid nitrogen, that is.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Ouch."\\

Oops

The last week of classes finishes. Next comes finals week. Meanwhile, I'm visiting Feministe instead of studying, following a link Kathe sent me, checking out these embarrassing answers to casual nosy questions: http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2006/03/16/open-mouth-insert-foot/

I also liked the "nerd headstone" piece at Feministe:

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2006/03/16/2453/#comments

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1936061

Although my all-time favorite nerd headstone is still HGWells':

I TOLD YOU SO

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "It is better if people wonder why you do not speak, than if they wonder why you do."\\

Wisdom From the Ancestors

Well, I got it from Jake, and I don't know where he got it, but:

On April 20, 1795, James Madison, who had just helped shepherd through the
Constitution and Bill of Rights, and would become President of the United
States in the following decade, wrote:

"Of all the enemies to public liberty war is, perhaps, the most to be
dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is
the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes. And armies, and
debts, and taxes are the known instruments for bringing the many under the
domination of the few."

"In war, too, the discretionary power of the Executive is extended. Its
influence in dealing out offices, honors, and emoluments is multiplied;
and all the means of seducing the minds, are added to those of subduing
the force of the people. The same malignant aspect in republicanism may be
traced in the inequality of fortunes, and the opportunities of fraud,
growing out of a state of war...and in the degeneracy of manners and
morals, engendered by both. No nation could preserve its freedom in the
midst of continual warfare."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Sigh."\\

Cover the Uninsured

No, Mr. Gonzales, not with your sidearm, they're not attacking (though they're entitled to).

No, Rev. Robertson, not with your overcoat, they're uninsured, not naked. Besides, who knows where that overcoat has been -- I notice it has slit pockets.

No, Mr. Guckert, please step back. This is real news, not the kind you cover.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Be nice."\\

And Then Kathe Sent Me...

From Shakespeare's Sister:

The so-called "Let the People Decide" bill claims to be about controlling corruption by replacing private funding with public monies. In practice, it is about making it impossible for a small party to gain the influence needed to become a larger one. Under this bill, public money is available only to those parties who manage to gain signatures equal to at least 10% of the previous vote for partial funding, and at least 20% for full funding. That's bad enough, but here's the kicker: "candidates who don't qualify for funding would be barred from spending any privately raised money on their campaigns."

You read that right. If you don't qualify for public funds, you don't get to use your own funds either.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do the right thing."\\

Impeachment When?

Right now?

Or after the November election?

I can see good arguments on both sides.

I don't see a single damned reason not to ITMFA.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Me, neither."\\

Good News

Had to go far enough to get some: There is evidence of liquid water on Enceladus.

On the other hand, there is also evidence of liquid water on the continental landmass of Antarctica, where it would really be better for us if there weren't.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I hope that when the school year ends you start to lighten up."\\

Maria Cantwell Sent Me This

How thoughtful of her.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Virtue is a woman's finest decoration."\\

Kathe Sent Me This

Kathe sent me this:

One of my favorite quotations is the famous one from Thomas Hobbes (a veritable musician of the English language). But here's a new take on it, from Ken McLeod's blog:

As one of Ted Hondereich's students wrote in an essay, 'Hobbes tells us that life in the state of nature is poor, solitary, nasty, British and short.'


And this:

It's been too long since we visited Planet of the Geeks:

http://www.planetofthegeeks.com/


And this:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/060216_causefrm.htm

And this, which is awfully cute:

http://www.clocky.net/

And this:

http://www.woot.com

And this, which takes fanfic to a new level:

http://www.startreknewvoyages.com/

And this:

forgot to tell you all, I had dental surgery yesterday. An abcess suddenly appeared, having eaten a hole clear through my lower jaw. Fortunately, I was able to get it taken care of right away. Unfortunately, as I discovered, dentists no longer bill, and it cost $1113.00!!! Fortunately, I was able to pay. I don't know what the dentist would have done if I had not been able. If you have dental insurance, or vision care insurance, you are very lucky. My fed employees plan insurance is great in most ways, but it doesn't cover these little optional extras. Of course, if I got knocked over by a car because I couldn't see the traffic signal, my injuries would be fully covered. . .

My poor sweetie. It was painful to watch her lying there, her jaw swollen, reluctanty even to speak because of the residual pain.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Man was made to marry."\\

Medically Amusing

[Recycled from 9 February 2006]

I use a veterinary syringe to remove earwax, myself.

If you can't get one, you might try a turkey baster, although the pressure won't be as great as with a syringe.

Or one of these.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Go with the flow."\\

Who's Next?

Will your state defend the right of incestuous rapists to become fathers as vigorously as South Dakota has?

Maybe you'd like to say something to your representatives about that.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Give it some thought."\\

Michael Brown -- Not As Bad As All That After All

What a bizarre turn of events, that the now-famous pre-Katrina video reveales that, narcissistic incompetent though he might be, Michael Brown wasn't anything like as lackadaisical and callous as he appeared to be, based on material available at the time. He showed signs of genuine concern, by golly. Guess we were too hard on him.

George W. Bush, however, is revealed to be every bit the Nero he seemed to be.

Interesting.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Examine all the facts before you act."\\

Paying Your Bills and Other Terrorist Acts.

Haven't spent much time up here in the lookout. The term is ending, and it looks as though I might well pass, and get to come back again. That'd be nice.

you pay your credit card bill off, instead of letting interest accumulate, then the terrorists have won.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Consider your options."

So, How Open-Minded Are You?

You Are 76% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Flexibility is often mistaken for weakness."\\

Where Ya Been?

Since I don't have an RV to post this map on, I'll put it here:



create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You are going on a trip."\\

It's Difficult to Parody Little Green Footballs

But they're trying at Little Green Fascists.

Personally, I always refer to that site as "The diaper full of little green footballs", because that's what the phrase makes me think of.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There's also the smell of the contents."\\

When You Say "Everyone", You Mean...Everyone...?

Pastor Carlton Pearson lost 90 percent of his congregation by adopting the shocking, unheard-of doctrine that when Jesus said salvation was available to everyone...he actually meant everyone.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Quality vs. quantity, take your pick."\\

What She Said -- I Mean He (Do I?)

Shakespeare's Sister is right when she quotes this person who truly speaks my mind:

The enemy we face is brutal and determined. [They] have an ideology. They share a hateful vision that rejects tolerance and crushes all dissent. They seek a world where women are oppressed, where children are indoctrinated, and those who reject their ideology of violence and extremism are threatened and often murdered.

[They] have aims. They seek to impose their heartless ideology of totalitarian control… To achieve their aims, [they] have turned to the weapon of fear. [They] do not understand America. They're not going to shake our will. We will stay in the hunt, we will never give in, and we will prevail.

Of course, when George W. Bush said those words, he was talking about someone other than his own gaggle of crooks, but they apply equally well to either racket.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You said it".\\

Keep At Them

There are Republicans who are ready to begin investigating the Administration's crimes.

And there are still Democrats who are afraid to.

Keep at them.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Persistence is a virtue."\\

Beatitudes For Educators

Kathe sent me this.

The soprt of thing that makes teachers want to "be-at" their heads against the wall.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Teach your children well."\\

AOL Wants to Sell You Out

MoveOn is most concerned about nonprofits and grass roots outfits having to pay for access to people, but I'm more concerned about the idea that, after we have paid for spam protection, AOL proposes to sell spammers access to our accounts.

In the most corrupt organizations, the lowest standard of ethics is to "stay bought". AOL doesn't even come up to that level.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Oy, vey!"\\

What a Guy

Proof that the Compassionate Conservative is not in any sense inconsistent when it comes to talking with Gold Star Mothers: he treats 'em all like this.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Bet you didn't know Magic 8-Balls could barf, did you?"\\

...and counting

http://www.iraqbodycount.net/

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Thank you, Sir, may I have another?"\\

Please Do Train Them Like Rats

Suzanne Faye sent me the link below, as well as this one.

Cherry Potter* writes about "teen boot camps", mistakenly believing that these sadistic camps are in some sense related to B.F. Skinner's historic studies of behavior modification.

Potter also mistakenly believes that behavior modification therapy can only be used within a "strict regime of deprivation
of food and freedom". In reality, the most common form of behavior modification in use today is called "good manners", and it is routinely used to manipulate the behavior of people who are far more powerful than the people using the technique.

* (A real person, not a character in a fanfic about a spell that backfired.)

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Speak truth to power...politely."\\

Keeps on Ticking

The Human Clock (not a superhero).

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Next thing, someone is going to say I'm really a human being thinking these things up."\\

Lego Computing

Somewhere around here I've got a link to a guy who used Legos to customize his computer, and here's a hard drive made to look like a Lego brick, to go with it. Huh.

''The Magic 8-Ball says, "Huh."\\

Quick (or Slow) Draw

Cool at any speed, from x1 to x16.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Have you met my Cousin Etch-a-Sketch?"\\

George W. Bush Making the World a Better Place

Not through any direct action of his own, of course.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You already know the answer."\\

Remember "Johnny Jihad"?

It's pretty flippin' cold up here in the lookout. But then it's cold downstairs, too, and from up here I can see that cuter little tree the steelworkers placed at the top of the new buiolding down by the river. Is that all the taller it's going to get? Well, fine, it's plenty tall already. Completely out of proportion with the rest of downtown.

Yes, it was a cold, but I'm mostly better now.

So, do you remember John Walker Lindh?

I wouldn't blame you if he did. His fifteen minutes were a loooong time ago.

Time was, though, he was a Rorschach blot for half the country.

Now he's just a blot.

What I can't figure out is how this guy's career with al Qaeda came to be thought of as some sort of outgrowth of his parents' liberal background?

He rejected liberalism, secularism and liberal democracy in favor of joining a right-wing faith based organization. That doesn't make him Michael Moore, Jr. -- it makes him David Horowitz's evil twin.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You mean eviller, don't you?"\\

Tough Love For Iraq

[With thanks to Suzanne Faye]

It starts out tough...

...and just gets tougher.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Grrrrrr!"\\

That's Weird

A friend of Kathe's has a friend who has been given a painting by her aunt. She remembers the painting very well from childhood, but was surprised to find that in her memory it is reversed, right to left. There is no chance that she might have been seeing it in a mirror. Does anyone knows anything that could shed light on this phenomenon?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What do I look like, a magic mirror?"\\

Why Cheney Fired

Well, here's one explanation, anyway.

It's not as though he didn't have options.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't walk out so far in front."\\

Pink Sweaters Everywhere

Funny, I don't remember this from previous Valentine's Days: all those people (mostly but not all women) wearing pink and red garments, as though they'd gotten their St. Valentines mixed up with their St. Patricks. Is this new, or did I just manage to miss it before?

This year, The Vagina Monologues came to OSU, although Lyndsey Shaver tried to stop it. Lyndsey Shaver says people who disagree with her are "lunatics". I'm not entirely convinced that she makes the world a better place by saying that.

Kathe sent me the original geek valentine:
Roses are #FF0000
Violents are #0000FF
All my base
Are belong to you

Here's something nifty: a cute little animation that gets down and boogies at the cellular level. Cool!

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Hell, yeah!"\\

Fair and Cloudy

Middle of the term, fair to middlin'. I think I'm going to pass, though possibly by just as slim a margin as last term.

My throat feels kind of raw after the long climb up to the lookout. Am I getting a cold? I'd really rather not.

Oh, well. Take C, hold a chewable in my mouth and let it trickle down my throat. Drink tea, put some pop in it for sweetener and flavor amendment, and more C. Appreciate the near-full Moon out the lookout windows. Go downstairs and kiss Kathe -- she already has all your bugs. Get some studying done.

[The following portion relocated from 4 February 2006, on account of an added link]

Fair is fair. Most people can agree on that. Beyond that, they will all have different ideas of what fair is, besides "fair".

But George W. Bush's idea of F.A.I.R. is one of the weirdest I've seen yet: he defines "fair" as "letting the asbestos companies off the hook for knowingly poisoning people."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Gee."\\

Raising Taxes By Just a Mite

It seems like laying it on a bit thick to call it the "widow's tax".

On the other hand, that's exactly what it is.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The truth sometimes hurts."\\

Dick Cheney Is So Evil...

How evil is he?

Just look and see.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Call a spade a bloody shovel."\\

Big Box of Japan

Kathe's son Jake sent us a link to JList, which was full of links to other Japan-related places.

My favorite was Japanese Streets, which features exceedingly cool street fashions as created and worn by Japanese kids who seem to have a lot in common with my son Waldy and his friends.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Konnichiwa."\\

GOP-to-English Dictionary

I've probably posted a link to this before, but....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Efforts at communication are never wasted."\\

Bad President! Bad!

Presidents shouldn't break the law.

Not little tiny ones, and especially not big ones.

Looks like somebody is overdue for a long talk.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You are the one who can make it happen."\\

Under Pressure

NASA is under pressure from the Administration to fudge that annoying science stuff.

My thoughts, in approximate order:

1) Why should NASA be exempted?

2) He mistook them for the NSA

3) He would have shut them down a long time ago, except he heard that they proved Joshua stopped the Sun.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Many a truth...."\\

Love to Eat Them Mousies

Mousies what I love to eat
Bite they little heads off
Nibble on they tiny feet

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Frequently mistaken for a meatloaf."\\

Catch of the Day

Deep-dwelling fish were washed up by a tsunami.

Some weird stuff swimming around down there.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "And how."\\

They Said It, Not Me

They call themselves Blackshirts.

It was their idea.

Nobody made them do it.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "No accounting for taste."\\

What?

A new planet?

Last week?

Bigger than Pluto?

I guess it's nursing school is doing that.

They can't go on calling it "UB313".

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "8-Ball is a nice name."\\

Getting What You Pay For

If you grant a special tax break to a corporation to entice it to move to your community, you're paying them for their presence, right?

Wouldn't it make sense to get something worthwhile for the money?

Seeing as how it's your money that's being given away?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook promising."\\

That's a Relief

I checked. Coretta Scott King dropped dead before George W. Bush compared himself to her late husband in the State of the Union address, not as a result of it.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do I know you?"\\

Jerks

AT&T sold you out.

So did Google.

Jerks.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Consider your options."

Sort of Like a Joke

There's this site where they sell what they call "Right Wing Stuff", see, and they're apparently trying to engage in political satire.

I know for a fact that there are funny conservatives. I've read P.J. O'Rourke's stuff, and he's pretty good. But these guys literally don't seem to understand the concept.

They know, for instance, that satire often involves taking a familiar statement and rearranging the words a little, or substituting different words, so they create "Feminism is the radical notion that feminists are women".

Um, well, not all of us, no, and anyway, weren't you trying to make some kind of a joke? Preferably with a serious political point behind it?

They go on like this, T-shirt after bumper sticker after coffee cup, and I keep on scratching my head, thinking, "Do even people who still support Bush like these things? Do they think people will think they are funny?"

Puzzling.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I don't know either."\\

One Last Chance

That dirty little crook Bill Frist is pulling one more scam, rushing to a vote on Samuel Alito's appointment to the Supreme Court on Monday afternoon.

Ron Wyden, (202) 224-5244, is my Senator, and I'm phoning him to thank him for pledging to vote against Sammy the Kingmaker, and urging him to go for the filibuster.

You should find out who your Senator is and urge him/her to do the same.

Now, while it's still not too late.

Later, after it is too late, go to Patch Adams's web site and find out what you can still do to make the world a better place.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Mixed signals".\

January Sky

I was riding my bike home at the end of a night shift. The sky was clear and Venus was high and bright as a morning star. I stopped by the side of the road, looking up at that bright, beautiful beacon, and wept.

No, that didn't happen on January 28th, 1986.

It was February 1st, 2003.

But that was when I wept for both crews.

And for the rest of us.

//The Magic 8-ball says, "Don't mourn. Organize."\\

Family Values

U.S. troops are kidnapping family members of Iraqi resistance fighters.

And what are they doing with them...?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Are you sure you want to know?"\\

Unreasonable, Not Probable

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. "

What part of this does General Michael Hayden not understand?

Pretty clearly, it's the "probable cause" part.

Does anybody still think these people are conservatives?

Is it time to question their patriotism?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You already know the answer."\\

A Whiff of Justice (Not Around Here)

Change comes rapidly across latin America, in spite of a U.S. administration that would rather it didn't.

Meanwhile, Linda Loaiza's case continues to grind slowly, slowly through reluctant Venezuelan courts. No, it's not all over and done with.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Be patient".\\

Open Net, Insert Boot

The Internet the way it is now, only faster, would be cool.

The Internet as a spiffy high-speed corporate-media venue...not so hot.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You know what you should do."\\

People Oughta Do Stuff

Wal-Mart oughta stop sticking the taxpayers for their employees' health insurance.

Election officials oughta protect the integrity of the ballot.

Kathe's son Jake thinmks people oughta check out David Perdue's Charles Dickens page. Certainly people who like Dickens oughta.

People who like angels, vampires or other seducitve creatures with wings oughta check out Donna Barr's collection of watercolors at http://www.flickr.com

Bush oughta find a new game to play.

You oughta be impressed by what people can do with just (stacked-up) pennies.

Yahoo and MSN oughta borrow Google's pair.

Once in a great while, you really oughta forward one of those "forward this to everyone you know" e-mails.

And yes, I oughta do a post that isn't just a bunch of links people e-mailed to me, but hey....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do what you can."\\

Industorious Indeed

Check out Yugo Nakamura's Industorious (sic) Clock.

Taking It With You

Kathe's son Jake sent me this link, and appended this comment:

"Mr Pizer, please wake up now... You've been frozen for 150 years, but your
Cryo company went under about 80 years ago. Actually that company has been
bought and sold a number of times. You actually spent a few weeks in a
meat locker in Chicago until a new facility could be found. Unfortunately
we were legally obligated to dip into your "inheritance" to pay for
emergency cooling and relocation. You still have a few dollars left, but
after converting them into American Yen, it looks like you will have to go
back to work. Mr Pizer? Are you listening to me? Ah... yes, where is the
rest of your body? Well, you see after the last market crash the Cryo
industry was forced to make a few, um, cutbacks. What now? Well, Mr.
Pizer, you've lucked into a wonderful Brave New World, you know. You've
been assigned to the circus with all the others. You'll be pulled by
trained monkeys round the ring on a special cart along with the other
heads. It doesn't pay all that well, but it will keep the feeding tube
flowing and cover any back taxes owing. And it does make the children
laugh! Mr. Pizer? Now don't be angry with me Mr. Pizer..."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Go check with my Cousin Television, see if Futurama is on."\\

A Miner's Life

Miner's life is like a sailor's
'Board a ship to cross the wave;
Every day his life's in danger,
Still he ventures being brave.
Watch the rocks, they're falling daily,
Careless miners always fail;
Keep your hands upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

You've been docked and docked, my boys,
You've been loading two for one;
What have you to show for working
Since this mining has begun?
Overalls, and cans for rockers,
In your shanties sleep on rails.
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

Soon this trouble will be ended,
Union men will have their rights,
After many years of bondage,
Digging days and digging nights.
Then by honest weight we labor,
Union miners never fail;
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

In conclusion, bear in memory,
Keep the password in your mind.;
God provides for every nation,
When in union they combine.
Stand like men and linked together,
Victory for you will prevail,
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

CHORUS:
Union miners, stand together,
Heed no operator's tale;
Keep your hand upon the dollar
And your eye upon the scale

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Prospects murky."\\

Why DeLay Any Longer?

When we have Roy Blunt, John Shadegg and John Boehner to handle Tom DeLay's corruption-as-usual?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Honesty is the best policy".\\

WeirdSat

I'm sure I've seen at least one SF magazine cover with a ghostly image of an empty spacesuit on it....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Truth is stranger than fiction".\\

A Cleansing Rant

The Rant of the Year.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "And what are you going to do about it?"\\

Say No to Alito -- Someone Might Even Listen

The sunrise was beautiful this morning. Even from street level it was gorgeous, and from up here in the lookout tower, it was miraculous.

I haven't read Samuel Alito's entire resume. It's sufficient to me that he bragged in his resume, applying for a job in the Reagan White House, that he was a member of Concerned Alumni of Princeton.

In fact, it's enough for me that he applied for a job in the festering pit of corruption and incompetence that was the Reagan White House, but that's another matter.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You don't have to eat the whole egg to know it's rotten."\\

Surprises

I was surprised by a conversation with a classmate the other day. I observed that for his birthday this year, Dr. King was getting Samuel Alito, and she said, "Who?"

I got as far as saying that he was Bush's current Supreme Court nominee and she said, "I don't have any interest in politics." I'd heard people say things like that before, but this time I was really struck by how far apart her view of the world is from mine. To me, a mentally-sound adult who has no interest in politics is as odd (and possibly as reprehensible) as an able-bodied adult who has no interest in working.

I pressed on, pointing out that Alito is expected to be the swing vote to overturn Roe v. Wade
, and she said, "I'm absolutely pro-life, but I don't think that's ever going to happen."

I was polite, and refrained from pointing out that it's pretty damn easy to call yourself "pro-life" if you presume that the issue will never come up in real life.

She's a young single woman. I could have said some things that could have really hurt her feelings. But I didn't.

But I was surprised.

On the lighter side, it's also surprising how few people are aware that The Matrix is a remake of a 1975 TV-movie. Alas, in those days the special effects were not really up to the task, as you can see in this musical interlude from late in the film.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "People go to Hell for lying, you know."\\

Break Out Those Band-Aids

Kathe sent me this:

"The Huffington Post has learned the Bush administration recently asked high ranking military leaders to denounce Congressman John Murtha. Congressman Murtha has called for the Bush Administration to withdraw US troops from Iraq.

The Bush Administration first attacked Rep. Murtha for his Iraq views by associating him with the filmmaker Michael Moore and Representative Jean Schmidt likened him to a coward on the floor of the House of Representatives. When those tactics backfired, Dick Cheney called Murtha “A good man, a marine, a patriot and he’s taking a clear stand in an entirely legitimate discussion.” Though the White House has backed off publicly, administration officials have nevertheless recently made calls to military leaders to condemn the congressman. So far they have refused."

So, faced with an outbreak of integrity and loyalty to their real friends among the military brass, what's the Administration to do about John Murtha?

Why, swiftboat him, of course!

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There is someone else you should be asking."\\

Something Funny For a Change

There's a searchlight over near the OSU campus, making a beautiful display against the low-lying clouds over Corvallis. I sit here in the lookout tower and think about Judge Samuel Alito, and find that I don't feel up to saying anything about him. Especially since the gastroenteritis has already made my stomach pretty delicate. I'd rather write about something funny.

Like a hidden canteen in the form of a beer belly. Well, I think it's funny, anyway.

And it's not the only funny thing to be seen at Gizmodo, either.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Smile, though your heart is aching."\\

Cruel Mockery

But well deserved.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "True."\\

Staggering Off to School

But managing.

Last week, in a comment, Peni Griffin mentioned frequent consultation of baby name books (knowing her, that would be for the names of characters, rather than the other kind of baby). Here's another source.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Excuse me, I'd prefer to be known henceforth as Beige Toaster."\\

Intestinal Flu is No Fun

It turns out that what I should have been afraid of is not going back to school, but being too sick to go to school on account of intestinal flu.

Intestinal flu is no fun at all. But, with phenergan and a liter of normal saline, I'm feeling good enough to sleep instead of just lying here whimpering, and that's a big improvement.

http://3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592.com/

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "22/7".\\

Back to School Tomorrow

Only slightly scared.

I found this while cleaning out my e-mails today, something Tamrof sent me awhile back. I don't know how old it is, or where Tamrof got it, but it seems especially apt right now, as senior Republicans start saying the "I-word" out loud:

Subject: Breaking News from Congress

Congress today announced that the office of President
of the United States of America will be outsourced to
overseas interests as of August 31st. The move is
being made to save not only a significant portion of
the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and
related overhead.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost
savings should be
significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds
(R-Wash.). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government
Accountability Office, has studied outsourcing of
American jobs extensively.

"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world
stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds
noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his
termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for
some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices,
Mumbai, India will be assuming the office of President
as of September 1st. Mr. Singh was born in the United
States while his Indian parents were vacationing at
Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the
position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a
month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle
his job
responsibilities without support staff. Due to the
time difference between the US and India, he will be
working primarily at night, when few offices of the US
Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at
the American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in
an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this
position. I always hoped I would be President
someday."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr.
Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues
involved in the office of President, this should not
be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree
that will enable him to respond effectively to most
topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address
common concerns without having to understand the
underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the
spokesperson. "Mr. Bush has used them successfully for
years."

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and
salary until his final day of employment. Following a
two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240
dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as
his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed
limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services
of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and
prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience.
One possibility is re-enlistment in the Air National
Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely
be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr.
Bush, who gained
invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the
Baghdad Airport's
terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would
receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have
asked to be provided with details of his arrival so
that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You wish."\\

Numbers

What are the latest poll numbers on impeaching Bush?

Who knows?

Gallup won't poll on the subject unless it comes up in the media, or in Congress, they say. And of course the media have no numbers on impeachment sentiments since there haven't been any polls.

But now impeachment is being talked about in Congress.

And in the media.

So maybe now we'll get some numbers.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The numbers which count are 218 in the House, 67 in the Senate."\\

God's Alphabet

Here are some of the puns.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "1,2,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23...."\

Takes a Licking and Keeps on Ticking

http://www.humanclock.com/clock.php

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Tick...tock...."\\

That Seven Things Meme

1. Seven Things To Do Before I Die

1. Finish Winter Term 2006 of nursing school.
2. Finish Spring Term 2006.
3. Finish Fall Term 2006.
4. Finish Winter Term 2007.
5. Finish Spring Term 2007.
6. Pass the NCLEX.
7. Receive Oregon nursing license.

Check back with me in the summer of 2007 and I might have a more varied and interesting list.

2. Seven Things I Cannot Do

1. Dressing changes
2. Insulin mixing and administration
3. Nasopharyngeal suctioning
4. Tracheostomy care
5. Administer nasogastric medications
6. Discontinue a nasogastric tube
7. Insert an indwelling catheter

I cannot do any of these things because I haven't been vetted on them by my clinical advisor.

3. Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging

1. Saying what I want about politics, morals and culture without getting any e-mails that say "Please remove me from your mailing list".
2. Having a URL to link to when I post a comment at Pandagon.
3. Getting comments on my blog.
4. Reading the blogs of people who make comments on my blog.
5. Reading the blogs of people who comment on the blogs of people who comment on my blog.
6. Saying what I want about politics, morals and culture without getting any unsigned letters that say "I no were you live fagot your a dead man".
7. Uses less paper than zinac.

4. Seven Things I Say Most Often

1. "Hello, this is John Burt" (telephone greeting)
2. "I love you, sweetie." (said to Kathe)
3. "How are you feeling right now?" (said to people whose health actually interests me, such as family members and massage clients)
4. "Can I do anything for you?" (said to people for whom I am providing care as a CNA)
5. "Pshhhhht!" (said to misbehaving cat)
6. "Would you like me to rub your shoulders?" (said to anybody who's standing still)
7. "Life goes on." (usual answer to "How are you?")


5. Seven Books That I Love

1. Missing Man by Katherine MacLean
2. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein
3. The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells
4. Metropolis by Thea von Harbou
5. Last Call by Tim Powers
6. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin
7. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

6. Seven Movies That I Watch Over and Over Again

1. 2001
2. Dr. Strangelove
3. Bananas
4. The Great Escape
5. The Shadow
6. Joe's Apartment
7. The Bride of Frankenstein

7. Seven People I Want To Join In Too

1. Kathe.
2. Peni R. Griffin.
3. Francine Taylor.
4. Floofus.
5. Waldy.
6. Supergee.
7. Mom.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I'm going to close my eyes and count to seven, and when I open them, you will have asked me a different question."\\

I'll Cat Blog When I Feel Like it, Thank You

One disadvantage of coming up here to the lookout tower to do my blogging: sweet little Mouse won't come sit in my lap.

If I were sitting at the computer on the second floor, with the massage studio to my left and Waldy's bedroom behind me, Waldy's half-grown kitten Mouse (a gorgeous ghost tabby) would come and jump in my lap. She might be cuddled up between my belly and the keyboard this minute.

After careful consideration, I have finally decided on the most egregious hypocrisy of American foreign policy since the end of the Cold War.

That being the position, shared by Republican and Democrat alike, that the whole world should have free trade...except in agricultural products.

In other words, "Let's have a completely level playing field in the free exchange between the U.S. and Ethiopia -- of manufactured goods. Let DVD players, designer jeans and computer software flow freely in both directions."

The law in its majestic equality....

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You already know what you should do."\\

Breaking News: Mathematicians solve evolution debate

From a comment on a rare open thread on Pharyngula:

In the ongoing confrontation between science and religion over evolution there has been little progress until today, said leading mathematicians. At the crux of the debate is whether, as the scientists put it, the earth is 4.5 billion years old and life today evolved from primitive forms; or, as the Christian conservatives say, the earth and all beings on it were created six thousand years ago by God. In recent years the struggle has focused on the teachings of our origins in public schools and religious conservatives have put forward the "intelligent design" hypothesis as an alternative to evolution, demanding that it be taught along side Darwin's theory.

Now, in a brilliant synthesis, hailed as a breakthrough on both sides, mathematicians have stepped into the fray with a unifying hypothesis. They first note that both sides agree that the earth and its inhabitants are very complex. Then, drawing upon the well-established theory of complex-valued functions, they propose an earth model that brings both viewpoints into a complete theory. Since complex-valued functions (like complex numbers) have both real and imaginary parts, mathematicians suggest that it is the real part of the earth that is 4.5 billion years old while the imaginary part was created just six thousand years ago.


//The Magic 8-Ball says, "In other news ... "\\

Aphorisms For The Cynical

[Relocated from 6:54PM, 19 December 2005]

Found at Stone Mirror:

# A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
# Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.
# Never underestimate your ability to overestimate your ability.
# Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.
# It takes a village to raise a child to hate all of the people in the next village.
# The key to someone's heart is never lost: It's just that the locks were changed 'cause you're some sort of psycho.
# You have to learn to crawl before you can grovel.
# If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you're probably the executioner.
# Every dog has his day. Of course, his day consists of smelling other dogs' butts.
# You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. But he probably isn't going to be interested in some frog-kisser.
# True beauty is on the inside, where no one will ever see it.
# One person can make a difference, if that person is, like, Bill Gates or whatzisname, the speaker of the House of Representatives.
# Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a refrigerator repairman.
# A high tide lifts all boats, except those with a big gaping hole in the bottom.
# There are none so blind as those who have been in an accident at a fertilizer factory.
# You can run but you can't hide, except apparently along the Afghan-Pakistani border.
# Say not that honor is the child of boldness, nor believe that the hazard of life alone can pay the price of it; it is not the action that is due, but to the manner of performing it. You got all that? Me neither.
# You can do anything if you want it bad enough. That is why we see so many people who can fly.
# Every failure is a step to success up a ladder that will eventually collapse under the weight of all those failures.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yeah, right."\\